When it comes to money, everyone has a story. Unfortunately, many of the stories I’m hearing lately are filled with hard times, bad luck, loss, sadness, anger, and resentment. Don’t get me wrong, I know these stories are real and I have deep compassion for the pain and suffering associated with them. But I truly care about what happens to people and I get concerned when someone slips so deeply into their story that they can’t move forward or create anything new or better in their life. The truth is, we can’t create from victimhood. It’s like a dark cloud that obscures our light, where every day is a rerun of what happened and there’s little or no growth. At this point, we only have two choices: 1) surrender to the murky waters of what happened and become a Victim or, 2) consciously choose to grow beyond the experience, fully release the past, and resume the journey of this one great life you’ve been given.
How do you move from Victim to Victorious?
It is essential that you process your story. That you work to understand and learn from the circumstances that led you to this point and then, most importantly, consciously forgive and release what happened. This is something that must be done as quickly as possible. Move this experience, no matter how painful or challenging outside of your being before it has a chance to take permanent residence and becomes calcified into bitterness and resentment. Let it be done so that you can freely move forward into the future which holds more promise than the past. The past is history…you can never change it. You can only learn from it and use that knowledge and awareness as a leverage point from which you can rise.
As a Certified Money Coach, I know all too well the dangers of becoming entrapped in your story and the potentially disabling effect that it can have on your life. I know that many of you have been deeply impacted by financial challenges, debt, divorce, stagnant wages, rising expenses, and more. But what I want you to know is that your financial circumstances are not who you are, they are simply where you are. Your life’s circumstances, unless you become overly identified with them, should not define you as they as always changing, day by day. Yes, today may feel overwhelmingly challenging. But tomorrow is truly an unwritten page. Do not let your circumstances, which are temporary, become your life’s story. Because I can promise you, it doesn’t usually end well.
When people ask me to share my story with them, I always respond the same way. I tell them that my story is no longer real or interesting to me…it feels more like a fictional tale from a distant memory. I have no energy around it but I’m happy to share with curious friends or clients. Without fail, when I do people almost feel sad about what they’ve learned. I’ve had a challenging life and yes, there has been plenty of pain and suffering, but it’s not what I choose to focus on. But don’t feel sorry for me. I’ve gotten plenty of positive mileage out of my story and my past but I’m no Victim. I am a Warrior and I’ve taken everything that has ever happened to me and poured it into my life’s work. I also possess a strong Magician archetype and have woven my pain and suffering into a greater purpose….to relieve the suffering of others. So, if you ask me to share my passion and purpose with you, now that’s a story I’m always excited to share!
When we fail to release the past, we simply carry it with us everywhere. In carrying this burden forward, we miss the present and the future simply becomes a repeat performance of yesterday. What’s more, this is a self-fulfilling prophecy that renders us incapable of experiencing our greater potential in the here and now. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the life you once dreamt of having is not only waiting for you, it’s available to you now. But you are only free to claim it when you willing to release the past. So, surrender Dorothy…it’s over! Maybe you can’t go home, but you can always come back to yourself, right now in this present moment.
Here are a few things you can do to get started:
• Begin by writing your money biography. Till the soil of your subconscious by going back in time to chart your history from your earliest childhood memory to the present day. Give this adequate time and space. If you begin to get triggered and emotional returning to these memories, just write a bit at a time, 30 minutes to an hour until you’re complete.
• Next, read your money bio and see what patterns you can discover that start to emerge over the course of your life. Look for themes and metaphors that are often trying to reveal themselves to you so that you can begin to heal and grow beyond the past.
• As you begin to form a new awareness about yourself and your history, practice self-love and compassion. Most of our patterning and behaviors are formed unconsciously in early childhood. We are carved out of our experiences, much of which we had no choice in as children when we were too young and dependent to understand or choose differently. Our child’s brain is merely a recording device. It recorded everything but did not possess the developmental capacity to make sense of most of it. Now, as an adult, we do have this capacity. So, the process of going back and writing this will provide a new lens for increasing your understanding and forming a new awareness.
• Next, start with a clean piece of paper and begin to write the next chapter of your life. Consciously intend what you want and need to happen next. Be real. It doesn’t need to be big or grandiose. You don’t need to be a Billionaire to be happy. Just look at Elon Musk. He has more money than he could ever spend in one lifetime, but he’s trapped in his story right now and it’s working for him, and it won’t work for you either.
I get that whatever happened to you is real and painful, but it isn’t who you are unless you let it become so by not letting it go. Resist the temptation to become a Victim in the Tragedy of your own story. Instead, I challenge you to become the Victorious Hero or Heroine in your own Divine Drama (or Comedy, if you choose!) You can do this. You must do this. Start by writing the next chapter today.
I’m excited to hear what happens next! Good luck and Godspeed to you.